"Words can never hurt me" is the end of a most ludicrous phrase. As we know, words can certainly be like sticks and stones, and they can also be like logs and boulders, not only leaving scratches and bruises, but crushing our very existence.
I have been reading a book by Sharon Jaynes, The Power of a Woman's Words. At first I was a little bored with her antidotes and cutesy stories, but as I continued on, the power of her words, or rather God's truth in her words solidified something that has been churning in my heart: "The words that escape our lips reveal the condition of [our] inner man…the lips are the crack from which the condition of the heart seeps."
I am a woman. I like to talk. And I like to talk about people. It is fun to learn about what is happening in someone's life, or relive a funny story. And many times it is harmless and fun. But far too often such conversations lead to gossip, back-biting, and needless airing of someone else's very private laundry. And that black pit called our "sin nature" seems to puff up like a giant ballon in our chests, pressuring us for more, more! We want more!
No matter how many "bless-her-hearts" we add, "tisk-tisk" facial expressions, or "we-need-to-pray-for hers", the truth remains that instead of sowing seeds of hope, we sowed seeds of slander.
In an article entitled "Gossip", author and frontier woman Laura Ingalls Wilder writes that gossiping is like tossing seeds of unruly weeds, rooting needless contempt about someone in the mind of the hearer. She says, "And so we say harmful things carelessly…and the breeze of idle chatter from many tongues picks them up, blows them here and there, and scatters them to the four corners of the earth. What a crop of thistles they raise!"
"Downton Abbey" is a popular BBC television series that depicts an earl's family during the transitions of the early twentieth century. Grand splendor, darling accents, and witty lines charm the audience, but it is the relationships between the characters that keeps us watching with baited breath. What will happen next?
I believe that an understated charm of this series is a vivid picture of true friendship shown between the eldest daughter, Lady Mary Crawley, and her lady's maid, Anna Smith. It is not a let's-go-out-and-party friendship. It is a stoic and tangible friendship of trust, of being the bearer of secrets, of being the carrier of burdens. Lady Mary had a dastardly secret that would have ruined her reputation and the reputation of her family, but Anna kept her secret safe. A moment of alleged glory from being "in the know" is hardly worth sacrificing the trust of a friend.
This does not mean that we sweep someone's "dirt" under a rug until it becomes a mountain, for some issues do need to be addressed, and some people do need to be confronted. But after those things have been done, do we need to bring it up again with others? What good will it accomplish? Yes, we say we want to "get if off our chests", but then we put in on others, and continue sowing seeds that grow and begin to shape others' perceptions of the person up for conversation…or is it served up for dinner? Mmm, how juicy.
Be that person with whom others feel safe to leave the room and not worry about being the next verbal victim.
Keep the Faith,
Audrey Ann
"If anyone among you thinks he is religious, and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his own heart, this one's religion is useless." James 1:26
*Top picture from Google Images
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